From the category archives:
Greetings Americans. My name is Constantine Pavlovich and I arrive today here from Moscow for discourse with you on topic global warming.
My homeland country Russia suffer through dark period. Industries and technologies far behind other countries. Depression among the Russian people very high. If any man want to create new ideas they leave Russia because of weather. Snow and wind and ice in winter season limit production of workers. Even in springtime season Russia stay too cold.
If you’re ever stuck on a desert island without a reliable means of transportation, hope and pray that you’ve read these survival tips, because they’ll get you the fuck off that island, no problem.
An analysis of the phenomenon of perspective, how it shapes modern thought, human experience, and what it means to understand perspective in a way that makes you superior to nearly every other creature in existence.
You look nice today. Something about your clothes allows you to exude poise and symmetry, the pattern of your scarf, perhaps. Maybe your skirt or blouse or boots, the way they speak to one another, but I can’t say for sure. Yes, I think you look nice today, very nice, and the reason it sounds awkward as I say it is because I’m not accustomed to venerating articles of clothing. When someone is wearing a really badass jacket, I might say “That jacket is really badass,” but your jacket, no offense, is quite maroon and ordinary. I don’t know, it’s just something kind to say to another person when they look nice, a compliment because I’m bored and have nothing of substance to contribute. I’m bored here. I’m bored here and now pay closer attention to garments and their colors and patterns and material, their sleeves and collars and pockets, their lenghts and cuts and buttons, and what other garment and color and pattern might compliment them.
This is not an isolated incident.